June 4th he left for Afghanistan and I always think how terribly hard it is for him to leave us. Really the sacrifices he has made thus far astounds me sometimes. The love for his family and his country is so great.That's why I can handle everything that I do on the home front because of his faith in me and his willingness to go into a dangerous, war ridden country and serve and protect our country. He inspires me and although I handle the day to day operations of our family, he is my rock.
That is not to say that there has not been a lot of tears and phone calls to my dad about our washer flooding the house for the fifth time! ;) but if their is one thing my Dad taught me is that "it's life" buck up and handle it and don't get hung up on things that bring you down. Everything will work out in the end. Needless to say he has never steered me wrong. Although I will say being raised the way that I was taught me to be independent and figure things out myself, I don't always need other people to get through difficult times in life. Which sometimes gets misinterpreted believe you me. I know I can do it myself and I have...until I met the one person who was made for me. That is one of the hardest parts of being separated is not having such a vital part of your life with you, it feels unnatural.
I will definitely be a happy camper when this deployment ends! As far as feelings go it feels like you almost cant fully breathe until you see him and touch him to make sure he is truly safe, the stress and worry of one day having your best friend and the next day he could be gone forever is just horrible. Not to mention the aching loneliness..ugh deployment blues ;)
I feel like I have learned a lot as far as friendship and family are concerned. Personally as soon as he deployed I immediately saw who is truly vital in my life. It just would seem like during the hardest time in our lives we would get the most support and not the complete opposite. In recent weeks I was upset and hurt and most of all disappointed at the lack of respect for myself and most importantly my husband. After much prayer and meditation I have come to terms with the fact that people will disappoint you and may not even care for or like you but for every one that doesn't there are ten more who love and think the world of you. In a nutshell move past the negativity and towards the positive people in your life who make you whole and do not tear you down. And that is exactly what I am doing. I am a devout wife and mother and spend all of my time and energy on my family, but finally I decided to make myself a priority and say this is my life and my family and we will live it the way that we want to. I have never felt more free and just happy once I realized that I was dwelling on relationships and things that weren't important I let them go. And started living for myself and my family. Its a very freeing concept and I am going to take it and run with it! I do want to say a huge thank you to everybody who has made this deployment happy and bearable without those people I don't know how we would have made it this far!
This is what pure freedom and happiness looks like :)
Much love ya'll!